Letting Go of the Need to Be Liked in Dating
Discover how to shift from seeking approval and the “need to be liked” in dating to creating genuine, lasting connection. — If you’ve ever left a date wondering, Did he like me? instead of Did I like him? — you’re not alone. Many of us, especially women who grew up being taught to be “nice” and accommodating, fall into this trap. We show up on dates subtly (or not so subtly) trying to win approval — smiling through awkward silences, nodding through opinions we don’t agree with, or downplaying what we really want. It’s understandable. Being liked feels safe. It quiets that old fear of rejection and gives us a hit of validation. But here’s the problem: when you prioritize being liked over being real, you create connection on shaky ground. Real connection only happens when you let yourself be known. Why We Do It The need to be liked often comes from early conditioning — to keep the peace, to avoid conflict, to be “good.” Add in the vulnerability of dating later in life, and t...