Signs You May Be Codependent

Check out these signs of codependent behavior. If they sound like you, watch this video and learn how to begin to heal.

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When you’re dating, do you tend to put your partner’s needs before your own? You may be behaving in codependent ways. Recognizing the signs of codependent behavior is the first step towards having healthier relationships.

Signs You May Be Codependent

What is codependency?

Codependency refers to any enmeshed relationship in which one person believes they need to tend to the other person’s needs, while losing their own sense of autonomy.

Codependent behavior generally involves:

• Self-sacrifice
• Focusing on others first
• A need for control
• Difficulty expressing emotions and setting boundaries

A person with codependent behavior might experience:

• Trust issues with themselves and others
• The desire to fix/save people to feel needed
• Putting others’ needs before their own
• Problems with confrontation and decision-making
• Doing anything it takes to keep relationships afloat
• Fear of losing partners and other relationships

If you’re codependent, you have a hard time identifying and expressing your feelings, because you are so used to making it about other people’s needs. You only feel important/valued when others need you or can’t live without you. You end up choosing partners who are needy, unhealthy, inconsiderate, and/or have addiction or mental health issue.

What can you do to heal?

• Spend some time alone, and do some soul searching.
• Ask yourself, ‘What’s important to me? What have I given up to support others?’
• Find a list of core values on the web, and find your top ten. Then narrow it down to your top five. Those are the values you must honor from now on, no matter what.
• Create healthy boundaries to protect those values so you don’t lose yourself in support of others.
• A good boundary is stopping the auto-yes when someone asks for a favor. Practice the 24-hour rule. Wait a day before answering so you have time to process. 
• When making decisions throughout the day, ask yourself, ‘Does it feed me or drain me?’ If it’s healthy for you, it will feed your soul. If it’s codependent behavior, it will drain you.
• Practice healthy ways to take care of yourself. 

Over time, if you practice these steps of self-care, you can break the pattern of codependency and have healthy relationships. If you need more support, contact Co-Dependents Anonymous.

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