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How to Stop Overfunctioning and Watch How He Really Shows Up

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Five tips for women who are overfunctioning in dating. Observe, state your needs clearly, and date with a calm nervous system. A reader recently wrote in with a question you might relate to. She spent years in a long-term relationship where she planned, tracked, and managed nearly everything. Now she’s dating again, and she wants to see how a man shows up on his own before she steps in to fill the gaps. Her question: how do I stop overfunctioning in dating and doing the emotional labor for someone who isn’t naturally proactive? If you tend to overfunction in dating, here are five tips to help you stop and let a man show you who he really is. How to Stop Overfunctioning and Watch How He Really Shows Up 1. Stop and notice what’s going on for you If you notice you’re feeling anxious while waiting for a text or planning what to say next to the person you’re dating, treat it as useful information, not an invitation to send another text or overthinking ...
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What Low Desire Really Means For People Over 50

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What does low desire really mean for people over 50? Is it low libido or something else? Learn more in this episode with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus. — Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a nationally recognized sex therapist, author, educator, and sexual health advocate. Formerly the Clinical Director of a leading sexual health center, she is the author of Satisfaction Guaranteed and was profiled in The New York Times Magazine as “The Orthodox Sex Guru.” She is known for her warm, candid, and practical approach. In this episode: The biggest myths people believe about low desire and low libido Why low desire is rarely just psychological or physical How hormones, medications, and medical conditions quietly affect someone’s sex life Why therapy or medicine aren’t always enough on their own, and how combining the two helps Practical, science-backed strategies that can help people reignite intimacy at any age or stage of a relationship EP 734: Dr. Bat Shev...
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Online Dating for Introverts – Meet Your Match Without Draining Your Energy

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Four gentle strategies for introverts to help you enjoy online dating at your own pace, including how to recharge after dates and turn small talk into real conversation. If you recharge in quiet moments and feel most like yourself in calm settings, you might be reluctant to date online. Online dating can be the perfect way for you to meet someone. A little advanced preparation will make it more enjoyable. I’m sharing how to make online dating work if you’re an introvert. Online Dating for Introverts If you have ever closed a dating app feeling more tired than when you opened it, you’re in good company. Online dating is actually a natural fit for introverts, and it offers real advantages. It also has a few features that can drain your energy. While many introverts prefer to reveal themselves gradually as trust builds, writing a dating profile asks you to talk about yourself in a way that can feel uncomfortable. Messaging several people at on...
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How Can Jealousy Actually Strengthen Trust and Intimacy?

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What if jealousy could actually strengthen your relationship? That’s what we explore in this episode of Last First Date Radio. — Did you know that jealousy can strengthen a relationship? That’s what my guest, Ally Iseman, believes. She is an award-winning creator, author, Certified Relationship Coach and Kink Aware Professional who specializes in modern relationship design, unlocking erotic jealousy, and consent and communication. She has been featured in The New York Times, LADbible, Cosmopolitan, AskMen, and more. Ally works with couples and individuals all over the world who are at transition points in dating and relationships. Whether they want to open their relationship to include more people, explore play parties together, or just open up more authentically to each other about their kinks and curiosities, Ally helps them open up without breaking up.  In this episode: Is jealousy nature or nurture? How understanding jealousy can be be...
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5 Online Dating Mistakes Keeping You From Finding Love

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Are you making any of these five online dating mistakes? Check out this video to learn how to turn them around and find love! If you’ve been swiping and messaging for months (or years) without much to show for it, it’s not because love isn’t out there for you. It’s usually because a few fixable habits are quietly getting in your way. I see the same five online dating mistakes over and over with the women I coach, and the good news is that every one of them is completely within your control to change. Here they are, along with what to do instead. 1. Your profile isn’t unique enough If your profile reads like a list of adjectives (fun, adventurous, easygoing) it’s blending into a sea of other profiles that say the exact same thing. The people scrolling past have no real sense of who you are. Your profile should sound like you and only you. Tell a quick story instead of a trait. Mention the trip that changed you, the hobby you can’t stop talking about...
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The REAL Reasons Why People Cheat: The Science of Betrayal

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Why do people cheat? In this episode, we discuss the science of betrayal and why even happy couples sometimes cheat. — What drives people to cheat? Dr. Glenn Hutchinson is a clinical psychologist and behavioral researcher whose upcoming book, Unfaithful Minds: The Science and Psychology of Infidelity (Prometheus, August 18, 2026), uses infidelity as a window into a much bigger question about human behavior. In this episode: What people misunderstand about why people cheat The role of the unconscious mind in infidelity Why many happy couples cheat How and why people justify cheating Early warning signs of possible cheating and what to do about it EP 730: Glenn Hutchinson – The Science of Betrayal: What Drives People to Cheat? Highlights of this episode: Psychological Foundations of Infidelity Infidelity stems from unconscious psychological processes rather than simple character flaws or relationship dissatisfaction...
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Over-functioning in Your Relationships: How to Stop Before You Lose Yourself

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Do you have a pattern of over-functioning in your relationships? Do your partners under-function? Let’s break this pattern now! Debbie came to a session excited and a little unsettled. She had been dating Alan for a few months, and everything about him felt different from what she was used to. He texted back. He made plans. When he said or did something that landed wrong, he apologized and corrected course without being asked twice or getting defensive. That should have felt like relief. Instead, it felt unfamiliar enough to make her a little nervous. Debbie’s last long-term relationship was with a man I’ll call Richard. She did most of the emotional heavy lifting in that relationship: she planned, reached out first, smoothed things over, and read his moods so she could adjust hers.  Over time, that became her definition of what it takes to keep a relationship together…until she broke up with him. So when her new boyfriend started initiating dates and...
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