How Anxious/Avoidant Relationships Can Succeed

anxious/avoidant relationships

Can anxious/avoidant relationships succeed? My podcast guest, Thais Gibson, is an expert in attachment theory and has great tips for you.

—

Dr. Thais Gibson is known for her work on attachment theory. She created Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory™, an innovative framework uniting traditional attachment theory, developmental psychology insights, and subconscious reprogramming techniques. This framework is reflected in the courses she teaches in The Personal Development School, in her innovative coach training program and in her most recent book, Learning Love.  

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • The attachment styles and their impact on relationships
  • How partners with anxious/avoidant styles can succeed
  • How past wounds affect our relationships
  • How to heal past wounds
  • Tips and tools for creating healthier relationships

EP 607: Thais Gibson – How Anxious/Avoidant Relationships Can Succeed

What are attachment styles and their impact on relationships? 

  • Secure: Gets a lot of soothing when they cry and needs met as children, so they grow up feeling like they can communicate well and build trusting healthy relationships. It’s about 30% of population
  • Anxious Preoccupied: Loving parents who are not consistently around – may work a lot, so love is there and then taken away. As adults we grow up fearing abandonment and focus on creating more proximity. 
  • Dismissive Avoidant: Childhood emotional neglect that flies under the radar. They might have some needs met, but parents don’t encourage children to talk about emotions or soothe them. They neglect or dismiss them. As adults, we think there’s something wrong and we’re weak and defective and don’t attach deeply.
  • Fearful avoidant: Shares anxious and avoidant. In childhood, lots of chaos, fighting, maybe a parent with a personality disorder, not knowing what type of love you’ll get as a child. As an adult, they fear abandonment and closeness.

How can partners with different styles navigate their dynamics? What is the typical partner for the Anxious Preoccupied (AP) – Dismissive Avoidant (DA)?

Our attachment styles are formed as a way to manage childhood. Avoidants (DA) tend to be a lot more independent and love freedom. Anxiously attached (AP) people tend to be more afraid of being abandoned so they hold on tighter when the DA is pulling away. Then, the DA pulls away more, as their need for autonomy is threatened. It’s important to understand the rulebook for your partner’s attachment style. It helps us not take it so personally.

How do past wounds affect (AP) relationships and how can they be healed?

The wounds are conditioned through repetition and emotion over time in childhood. Whatever we’re exposed to repeatedly becomes a program. The work to heal is doing your own work to meet your own needs and work through your own triggers and set boundaries. Part two is working with your partner in doing these same things. This helps us reprogram.

Tip to reprogram your past wounds

Our subconscious is where our wounds are stored. In using auto-suggestion, we take the wound and find the opposite  (I’m not good enough – I am good enough). Then find ten memories of when you felt the opposite of your wound. It takes 21 days to reprogram. Repeat the memories for 21 days. It helps wipe out our core wounds. Use as much emotion and imagery as possible. Record it into your phone if you like.

What are some tips for expressing needs, setting boundaries, and fostering connection for the Anxious Preoccupied?

Work on your core wounds. Communicate your needs and sensitivities in a relationship. AP needs reassurance and certainty and validation. DA needs to know they’re not trapped but will agree to see their partner a certain number of times a week and will communicate if things change. 

The DA has a deep “I’m defective” core wound, so the AP needs to make sure they communicate in the positive.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

When you communicate your needs, communicate in the positive. Paint a picture of what it looks like to meet your need so your partner understands. Remember to see your needs through. Remind your partner if they forget to meet your needs. 

The real work is in embodiment. We have a felt sense of the inner work, and we are not afraid to speak up. And vulnerability is key to healthy relationships. Take off your mask and get real.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Thais

Website: https://university.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 

Free Life-Changing Quiz to Discover Your Attachment Style in Just 5 Minutes

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.



from Last First Date https://ift.tt/06ctNSW

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10 “Deep Penetration” Positions for More Intense & Fulfilling Sex

Image
Discover The Best Positions for Deeper & More Pleasurable Sex–And How to Get as Deep as Possible (Regardless of Your Size)… Click Here to Discover 5 All-Natural Foods That Get You Hard-As-Steel FAST (And Allow You to F**k Her Deeper Than Ever Before)… Sex is great–there's no denying that. And one thing that makes sex great is that there are so many different positions you can experiment with. However, while most men tend to go for the standard missionary and doggie style during sex… what if you really want to go deep inside her, and give her more intense pleasure? BRAND-NEW: This “Raging Bull Secret” That Helps You Last Longer In Bed Is Almost Sold Out (Click Here to Get It!) The truth is, many women love this kind of deep penetration… though few guys know how to do it correctly. So that's what I want to talk about today. I'll show you 5 “deep penetration” positions for beginners, 5 “deep penetration” positions for more advanced guys… plus: my favorite “deep ...
Read more

If you want to get more information about honeymoon then you should choose our Gurugram escort agency

Image
 Very few people will explain about honeymoon in detail. Most people take the name of honeymoon but they hardly know about honeymoon. Honeymoon is celebrated after marriage when you bring a bride to your home after getting married, after that you go to have a honeymoon with the same bride. Honeymoon is called as if you have just got married and have a wife and you have been with her for some time, so we call it honeymoon. There are many things about honeymoon in every person's mind, but not all people are able to take full advantage of honeymoon because they do not know much about honeymoon. Our Gurugram escorts agency is a boon for those who do not know much about honeymoon. We inform you about our honeymoon through our Gurugram escort agency. Our Gurugram Call Girl gives you a demo class. Our Gurugram call girl will tell you where you should go and not go on a honeymoon. Also, our Gurugram call girls will also explain how you should treat your wife and take care of her wishes. ...
Read more

Take a honeymoon feeling with a Gurugram call girl without getting married

Image
Men who want to experience honeymoon come to our Gurugram escort agency Our Gurugram escorts agency is famous for giving new experiences to men in Gurugram. The men of our agency always get new experiences. Men always choose our escorts agency as they get some new experience. Our new service is for men who are not married and need an experience to understand how to make their life happier with their wife after marriage. Why You Should Have Experience Before Getting Married Sometimes it happens that we get married without any experience and later we do not understand why our wife is not happy with us, we try our best but we are not able to make our wife happy. And we never understand why this is happening, we never get the exact reason and our marital life is not happy, for such men our Gurugram escort agency has started honeymoon escorts. We say that you should contact our escorts agency before marriage so that you do not have to face such problems that your wife is not happy with you...
Read more