The Golden Bachelor Divorce: 3 Important Lessons

The Golden Bachelor divorce can teach us some important things that we can apply to our own relationships. Here are 3 lessons learned!

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After only three months, the Golden Bachelor couple is divorcing. I’m not interested in spreading nasty rumors about Gerry or Theresa. I don’t know them personally, and there are plenty of videos and posts that have done that already. What I do want to focus on are three lessons we can learn from their quick marriage and divorce.

The Golden Bachelor Divorce: Three Important Lessons We Can Apply to Our Relationships

1. They barely knew each other: It takes time to really get to know someone you’re dating. Gerry and Theresa knew each other for a very short time before they got engaged, and they got married after a very short engagement. Their courtship and marriage were big media events. This was not real life. Three months after their wedding, they announced their divorce. Which means the marriage must have been failing for a while. 

Lesson learned: Get to know someone over time and through good times and hard times. See what they’re like when they’re stressed and how they handle conflict.

2. They had mismatched lifestyles: The Golden Bachelor couple’s lifestyles were not aligned. Gerry was retired and Theresa was still happily employed. In an interview, Gerry said, “I’ve been retired for a long time. I wanted fun [and] adventure. I wanted to go do [things]. So the crux of it, right now, is when does that start?” When one partner is ready to travel and have fun while the other is tethered to a career, it’s hard to make the relationship work.

Lesson learned: Make sure your lifestyles match. If one person is retired and the other is still working, it doesn’t mean the relationship won’t succeed, but it’s important to communicate how you’ll navigate this challenge before you tie the knot.

3. Their family values made it hard for either to move: Neither Theresa nor Gerry wanted to leave their families and merge their lives. While they admitted to going house hunting, they could never agree on where to live. Moving away from family was a compromise too great for both of them.

Lesson learned: Discuss the importance of where you’ll live before you get hitched. Many older couples struggle with giving up their proximity to family, and this can be a deal breaker. But, with the right communication, there might be a compromise that will work for both partners, such as having two homes, taking turns visiting family, or living apart together (LAT), where both partners keep their homes and make a plan to see each other.

Wonderful marriages don’t just happen. They require being intentional about your behaviors and being “all in”. They involve choosing well and then putting the effort in to nurture the relationship. Marriages are dynamic and ever-changing. You get to decide if you want to put the effort in to stay close. I guess the Golden Bachelor couple didn’t have what it took to make it work.

What are your thoughts on the Golden Bachelor divorce? What did you take away that you can apply to your own life?

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