Getting Back Together With an Ex: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Considering getting back together with an ex? Ask yourself these important five questions first, or you may end up heartbroken again.
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If you’re thinking about getting back together with an ex, pause. There’s a lot to consider. You need to reflect on several things before reuniting. Otherwise, you might end up with your heart broken all over again. Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before getting back with an ex.
Ask yourself these 5 questions before getting back together with an ex:
#1: Why did we break up?
Before you can move forward again, you need to reflect on why you broke up in the first place. Think about the issues that contributed to that breaking point. Why would things be different now? Have you both worked on those issues? Are they still issues and if so, how would you handle them differently now?
#2: Have I given myself enough time to process the breakup?
Consider how much time has passed since your breakup. If it’s been a month or a few weeks, give yourself more time to think about what went wrong and whether you actually miss your ex or you’re simply lonely and miss the best parts of your relationship.
#3: Am I romanticizing our relationship or seeing it realistically?
If it’s been a year or more, you’ve had time to process the breakup. You might have dated others, and you’re remembering how great things were with your ex. While it’s easy to just focus on the good, spend some time thinking about what didn’t work, because we can often forget the big issues. If you believe those issues can be overcome, you’ll have a chance of things working out this time.
#4: Do I miss them or do I miss being in a relationship?
It might seem obvious, but before you jump back into things with an old flame, both parties should ask themselves why they’re taking this big step. After all, we all have different motivations for wanting to be in a relationship.Don’t just get back together if you are lonely or afraid you will never find someone else. There were reasons your relationship didn’t work out the first time, and something has to change to make it work a second time around
#5: Has anything really changed?
If you do get back together, it’s important to be transparent and open about the changes that have been made and the agreements that need to be put in place to make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
It’s important that both people are on the same page about what they want and also honestly evaluate if they can meet each other’s expectations. You want to feel that your partner’s expectations for you and the relationship are realistic. If not, that will be a breeding ground for conflict in the future.
If you ask yourself these five questions before reuniting, and you’re intentional about how you’re getting back together with an ex, your relationship will have a far better chance of success this time. If you want to set your renewed relationship up for success, it’s important to keep dating each other. Your partner may have changed in significant ways during your time apart, so don’t assume that you know everything about them. Stay curious and make the time to continue to date each other and work on your relationship.
Many of the best relationships are do-overs. But, without considering the consequences of your actions and whether this relationship has the possibility of thriving, the likelihood of success is very low.
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