How to Maintain Passion in a Long-Term Relationship

long-term relationship

How do you keep a long-term relationship from burning out? Dr. Warren Farrell helps you go from role mate to soulmate.

—

How do you maintain passion in a long-term relationship? My podcast guest, Dr. Warren Farrell, has the answers! He has coached couples and psychologists worldwide in couples’ communication for the past 30 years. His popular course is “Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Art and Discipline of Love.”   He has been chosen by the Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders. His books are published in 19 languages, and include the New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, international bestseller The Myth of Male Power, and 2018’s The Boy Crisis. His previous book on couples’ communication, Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say, was a selection of the Book of the Month Club.

In this episode:

  • How couples can maintain passion in a long-term relationship
  • How couples can go from ‘role mates’ to ‘soul mates’
  • Strategies to stop getting defensive with your partner
  • The “Four C’s” that deplete passion and love

EP 623: Warren Farrell – How to Maintain Passion in a Long-Term Relationship

One of the key points in your book is handling personal criticism without becoming defensive. What are some effective strategies couples can use to achieve this?

We are unable to handle criticism without getting defensive. It’s functional for survival but not for love. We need to learn how to listen better and handle feedback. I started to experiment with ways for people to listen to their partner’s criticism without getting defensive. How do you change your brain to handle criticism? We need to set aside caring and sharing time each week before sharing criticism. The formula is two appreciations before and two after criticism. I also helped people set up a conflict free zone. You must put these things into practice.

Important Mindsets:

  1. The love guarantee. Say out loud to your partner, “If I provide a safe environment for your feelings or story, no matter how you are, you’ll feel more secure with me. You’ll feel more love for me.” They will start associating their partner’s concern with more compassion. They you can have active listening.
  2. If I’d die for you, the least I can do is listen to you. Sit back to back with your partner, and write down the answer to a question that your partner will never see. The question is, “If your partner is in an accident and has the likelihood of being killed, but you can save your partner and have a 50% chance of dying. Write down yes, no, or uncertain.” 80% of women would risk dying for their partner. 90% of men would risk dying for their partner.
  3. I’m here to attach to your story and detach from my defenses and prepare a response to what you’re saying. I will say the word “hold” to ask myself to hold for a moment and center myself on one of the six mindsets. 

You discuss the concept of moving from ‘role mates’ to ‘soul mates.’ What do you mean by these terms, and why is this transition important for long-lasting long-term relationships?

Role mates are traditionally when the father works and the mother stays home to take care of the kids. Even today without the same structure, when children come, the mother often makes the choice to work less and care for the kids more. The father tends to stay in a full time job. The man often gives up his dreams and focuses more on making money to support the family. It’s exhausting and hard to communicate effectively. You know you should stay together, but you don’t feel connected. 

The course helps couples set aside time to appreciate each other. Fill the reservoir of love with specific appreciations, getting more and more specific with your appreciation and curiosity. 

You introduce “The Four C’s” that deplete passion and love in long-term relationships. Can you explain what these are?

  1. Criticized
  2. Complaints
  3. Controlled
  4. Complacent

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Facilitate, listen, and no matter what your partner’s differences are, find what you appreciate about that person. Search for the good.

Dr. Farrell’s Social media and website links

Watch this episode on YouTube

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.



from Last First Date https://ift.tt/jFauGgz

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10 “Deep Penetration” Positions for More Intense & Fulfilling Sex

Image
Discover The Best Positions for Deeper & More Pleasurable Sex–And How to Get as Deep as Possible (Regardless of Your Size)… Click Here to Discover 5 All-Natural Foods That Get You Hard-As-Steel FAST (And Allow You to F**k Her Deeper Than Ever Before)… Sex is great–there's no denying that. And one thing that makes sex great is that there are so many different positions you can experiment with. However, while most men tend to go for the standard missionary and doggie style during sex… what if you really want to go deep inside her, and give her more intense pleasure? BRAND-NEW: This “Raging Bull Secret” That Helps You Last Longer In Bed Is Almost Sold Out (Click Here to Get It!) The truth is, many women love this kind of deep penetration… though few guys know how to do it correctly. So that's what I want to talk about today. I'll show you 5 “deep penetration” positions for beginners, 5 “deep penetration” positions for more advanced guys… plus: my favorite “deep
Read more

If you want to get more information about honeymoon then you should choose our Gurugram escort agency

Image
 Very few people will explain about honeymoon in detail. Most people take the name of honeymoon but they hardly know about honeymoon. Honeymoon is celebrated after marriage when you bring a bride to your home after getting married, after that you go to have a honeymoon with the same bride. Honeymoon is called as if you have just got married and have a wife and you have been with her for some time, so we call it honeymoon. There are many things about honeymoon in every person's mind, but not all people are able to take full advantage of honeymoon because they do not know much about honeymoon. Our Gurugram escorts agency is a boon for those who do not know much about honeymoon. We inform you about our honeymoon through our Gurugram escort agency. Our Gurugram Call Girl gives you a demo class. Our Gurugram call girl will tell you where you should go and not go on a honeymoon. Also, our Gurugram call girls will also explain how you should treat your wife and take care of her wishes.
Read more

Take a honeymoon feeling with a Gurugram call girl without getting married

Image
Men who want to experience honeymoon come to our Gurugram escort agency Our Gurugram escorts agency is famous for giving new experiences to men in Gurugram. The men of our agency always get new experiences. Men always choose our escorts agency as they get some new experience. Our new service is for men who are not married and need an experience to understand how to make their life happier with their wife after marriage. Why You Should Have Experience Before Getting Married Sometimes it happens that we get married without any experience and later we do not understand why our wife is not happy with us, we try our best but we are not able to make our wife happy. And we never understand why this is happening, we never get the exact reason and our marital life is not happy, for such men our Gurugram escort agency has started honeymoon escorts. We say that you should contact our escorts agency before marriage so that you do not have to face such problems that your wife is not happy with you
Read more