Online Dating Safety: How to Quickly Spot Red Flags
Online dating safety is paramount, especially for women. How do you stay safe? By recognizing red flags early on so you don’t get hurt or waste precious time with people whose intentions don’t match yours. Here are the top five online dating red flags look for before you agree to a first date.
Online Dating Safety: How to Quickly Spot Red Flags
Red Flag #1. Posting a vague or incomplete profile
When someone’s profile has no photos or just one pic and/or they haven’t written anything in their bio, it could be a sign that they’re trying to hide something. Whether or not they’re on the apps to catfish or hide secrets, an incomplete profile is also a sign of low effort, and you want to date someone who has put effort and attention into their profile. This is a swipe left for me
Red Flag #2. Sending sexy messages or focusing only on your appearance
If the person you matched with sends you a message that has anything to do with getting physical or focuses only on what you look like, this is a clear red flag. Another red flag is if they ask you to send more photos right away. Both of these are signs that this person is only interested in your appearance or in a sexual relationship, and if that’s not what you’re looking for, block and delete
Red Flag #3. Becoming irritated when you don’t reply immediately and/or over-messaging
Beware of the person who texts three times for every text you send or gets annoyed when you don’t respond back immediately. Example: “Good morning” [and one hour later] “How are you?” [now you’re at work and can’t respond yet] “Oh, you’re not going to respond?” [They’re getting anxious and pushy and you’re annoyed] “You know you could have just said you didn’t like me” [Yikes!]
While over-texting might be a sign of excitement or anxiety, it could also be a sign of manipulation and controlling behavior. It’s important to say something right away if someone texts in this way, and if they don’t respect your wishes, walk away. People who send angry texts when you don’t respond immediately are exhibiting signs of harassment and verbal abuse. And those are big red flags.
Red Flag #4. Asking to get off the app too soon
When your match wants to move the conversation off the dating app to a phone call or date after one message, or they want to follow or friend you on social media, that’s a red flag. If you tell them you’re uncomfortable with those requests and they begin to pressure or harass you, that’s a huge red flag. You want to find a partner who respects your boundaries. Block and delete this match.
5. Expressing negativity in their profile
Stay away from profiles that include statements like, “Swipe left if you…” Negativity is a turn-off. And while it’s important to have standards for who and how you want to date and relate to others, there will be time for taking a stance on those values once you get to know someone. Your profile is for what you DO want, not what you don’t. So, steer clear of the angry, negative, “don’t message me if…” profiles.
9 More Online Dating Safety Tips to Protect Yourself
- Use a nickname on your dating profile, so it’s harder to find your social media accounts
- Don’t be afraid to say no if you’re not ready to meet up
- Have your own transportation to the date, and if possible, don’t walk to or from the date
- Tell a friend or relative the details of your date
- Meet in a public space
- Never put yourself in a situation where you are alone with a stranger
- Don’t have anyone pick you up or drop you off at your home before you know and trust them
- Have a FaceTime or Zoom icebreaker date before actually meeting someone, especially if they live a distance away
- And most importantly, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If something feels off, it probably is. You don’t need a Google search to confirm how you feel.
Online dating is a wonderful way to connect with people you would never meet in real life, and starting a new relationship can be exciting. The one thing it should always be is safe.
If you’re finding online dating difficult to navigate, and you’d like to finally find your person online, join my course, Find Love Online After 40. If registration is closed, put your name on the wait list to be the first to be notified the next time the course is given.
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