Should You Lower Your Expectations in Dating?

expectations in dating

Lower your expectations in dating? Yes! Here are five reasons why lowering your expectations can lead to your last first date!

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Unrealistic expectations in dating can lead to disappointment, resentment, and even cause you to give up hope that you’ll ever find love. While it’s important to have clear standards for who we believe will be a good match for us, when you set your expectations too high for every date, you’re going to burn out quickly and feel disheartened. I’m sharing five reasons why lowering your expectations in dating can improve your ability to find lasting love.

5 Reasons to Lower Your Expectations in Dating

Reason #1: You won’t be as disappointed

If your expectations are too high in dating, you’ll feel disappointed if that person doesn’t fit the high bar you’ve set. You’re also setting up your date to feel judged. And that will turn them off. When you set unrealistically high expectations on a first or second date, you’re probably going to be let down again and again. 

We often paint a picture of how we think the person we’re dating will be before we get to know them, and we’re disappointed when our vision doesn’t match reality. Whether it’s the other person not living up to our expectations or vice versa, high or unrealistic expectation early on can lead to unnecessary disappointment and eventual resentment of the dating process.

Reason #2: You’ll be more authentic on dates

When you date without expectations, you tend to be more relaxed, because you’ve let go of what the date SHOULD be, and you’re open to what it actually is. You’re more likely to connect in a more authentic way, which is how you meet your true match. Your only intention is to get to know the person in front of you, so you’re more likely to find someone with whom you’re compatible. When you’re present and open in this way, you won’t fall for the “idea” of someone or fall for someone you forced yourself to like due to some preconceived notion.


Reason #3: You won’t put people on a pedestal

Dating without expectations helps you slow things down and become more present. This helps you stop putting your dates on a pedestal, seeing them as ‘out of your league’ or someone you need to win over.
You don’t know this person. It takes time to really know someone. You can be excited, but still hold them accountable. 

Reason #4: You’ll let go of scarcity in dating

When you go on every date thinking there’s only one person out there for you or all the good ones are taken, you’re dating with a scarcity mindset. The idea that there’s only one “twin flame” to complete you and if you let them pass you by you’ll be alone forever creates a dating environment that will lead to disappointment. Maintain your standards and see if you like the people you’re dating, and if it’s not a good match, let them go. There are always more people to date, even if you don’t believe that right now.


Reason #5: You’ll be more present and open on every date

If you have expectations in dating that you’re going to have instant sparks, you might move on from someone too quickly. Instead, be open to getting to know each date with an open mind and without judgment. When you set aside those unrealistic expectations, like you’ll immediately know they’re compatible at first sight, you mitigate the chance of being disappointed and you’ll be open to the surprise connections that can lead to love.

We aren’t compatible with everyone, which is why we need to lower our expectations in dating. Expecting every person we date to be a potential match leads to disappointment and dating burnout. Having realistic expectations, such as “I’m excited to get to know a new person” or “I’m looking forward to getting dressed up and having a night out” will change your mindset and eventually help you attract your last first date!

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life



from Last First Date https://ift.tt/tIEcMnA

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