What Can You Do When Your Libidos Don’t Match?

libidos don't match

You and your partner’s libidos don’t match. What can you do? Sex Therapist, Susan Morgan Taylor, has valuable tips.

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When your libidos don’t match, who do you call? Susan Morgan Taylor! She is a leading somatic sex therapist who helps couples deepen their intimacy and create lasting, fulfilling connections. With over 25 years of experience in somatic healing, she developed The Pleasure Keys Process™, a powerful approach to reigniting sexual and emotional harmony in relationships. After a personal awakening from a sexless marriage, Susan became passionate about helping others remove obstacles to pleasure, love, and orgasm. She is also the creator of the Pleasure Keys Retreats and host of the Sex Talk Café Podcast. When not working, she enjoys hiking and singing karaoke in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • The #1 obstacle to pleasure and how to overcome it
  • Why low sex drive in women is a myth and how we can rewrite the narrative on women’s sexuality
  • What is somatic sex therapy and how is it different from traditional talk therapy?
  • The most effective way for couples to resolve differences in sex drive
  • Why focusing on climax as the “goal” of sex can detract from reaching one’s orgasmic potential
  • How couples can get what they want without sacrificing their needs or desires just to please the other person

EP 641: Susan Morgan Taylor – What to Do When Your Libidos Don’t Match

What’s the #1 obstacle to pleasure and how can it be overcome?

We store and trap a lot of pain in our bodies. That can be an obstacle to pleasure. When we learn to remove those obstacles, we can experience full pleasure. We need to trust our bodies and our partners to fully let go. 

When we shut down anger and pain, we also shut down full pleasure. We need to tap into what we’re feeling in our bodies. Trust whatever feeling comes up. Let anger, grief and sadness flow out of your hurt. Then, you’ll have more sensation. When there’s clarity, there’s trust. Then we need to communicate what we want and need. Practice the three N’s: Notice, name it, negotiate the experience.

Why is low sex drive in women a myth and how can we rewrite the narrative on women’s sexuality?

There’s a myth that women don’t enjoy or want sex as much as men. Often the female partner is labeled as having a low sex drive. She doesn’t need to amp it up or have him tamp his desire down. We are wired differently as far as how we’re turned on. Some people are turned on by direct touch and some need more teasing and spaciousness. There’s a lack of clarity. So practice the three N’s: notice, name, and negotiate the differences. We need to change the conversation around high or low libido. Know what you need and want and communicate that to your partner.

Why might focusing on climax as the “goal” of sex actually detract from reaching one’s orgasmic potential?

If we remove the goal of climax in sex, we can reach more pleasurable sex. We can also reach orgasm in many other ways besides climaxing. Being orgasmic is the ability to feel deeply and respond to pleasure and stimulus. What if you didn’t ‘finish’? What if you just experienced what was possible when you’re no longer focusing on the end goal. Feel whatever you’re feeling in the present moment.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As someone who took a while to find my person, I understand the frustration. It’s important to identify your values and bring them to every relationship and date. It will weed out the wrong ones and attract someone who meets that.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Susan

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Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life



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