Sex After Grief: How to Navigate Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved

sex after grief

How do we navigate sex after grief? How do we nurture ourselves as sexual beings when we’re grieving the death of a partner?

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Sex after Grief is the first book to address sex and grief together and treat sex as a normal, positive, life-affirming part of emerging from such a difficult time. Author, Joan Price, is an award-winning writer specializing in sex and aging. She has written four books about senior sex, including Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved. At age 81, Joan Price continues to talk out loud about senior sex – partnered or solo. 

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • How to know when it’s time to start dating and seeking a sexual connection after loss
  • What to say to people who try to tell you what’s “right” or “appropriate” and what isn’t
  • The most common reason for guilt or shame when considering opening up to a new partner
  • Personal details about Joan’s own grief journey and attempts to get back into dating and sex

EP 642: Joan Price – Sex After Grief

How do you know when it’s time to start dating and seeking a sexual connection again?

You don’t know. Everyone has their own timeline as to when it’s time to welcome someone into their life. You’re ready when you want a partner’s touch, but you’re still in love with your dead spouse. Sometimes, the person who’s dying gives them permission to move on. I believe everyone should have that conversation with your partner before they’re gone to release them from guilt once they die.

What do you say to people who try to tell you what’s “right” or “appropriate” and what isn’t?

Everyone has an opinion about how fast or slow you should move. We need to be able to say to people “I need to do this at my pace. Let’s talk about it.”

What’s the most common reason for guilt or shame when you’re considering opening yourself up to a new partner?

People think they’re betraying their deceased spouse. I have stories from grievers in my book of those who got that permission.

Your book includes very personal things about your own grief journey and your attempts to get back into dating and sex. Why was it important to reveal such personal details?

I loved talking about Robert after he died. I had grief counselors who helped me get back into the world. A counselor said, “What’s the story you tell yourself about where you are right now?” I said, “I have lost the love of my life and nothing will ever be the same again.” After working with him, I was able to say, “I had the love of my life, and I take that with me on my path.” That made me realize I could move on, not abandoning him to find someone else. It made me who I am and let me open my heart when I was ready to invite someone else in.  We can love two people. 

I tread a fine line between not being open and being open and not too explicit. I’m open because people aren’t. When I first started talking about senior sex, no one was doing it and making it fun and sexy. Grief books don’t talk about sex. I needed to give people what they needed to hear. And I invited grievers to tell their own stories. (Here’s an article on sex toys on Joan’s blog)

What went into the decision to update the 2019 book and add more chapters in 2024?

A lot has changed since I wrote the book. I met another partner eight years ago, and he’s still in my life. He’s also widowed. That was important to me. We knew what we needed and we knew how to embrace our histories as part of our love affair. We are in a live apart together relationship. It’s wonderful. In 2024, I wanted to add new chapters about living apart together and other ways of being in a relationship.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Every first date is an opportunity to practice dating skills, listening skills, and evaluate what you do and don’t want. That’s how you’ll go on your last first date.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Joan Price

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Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life



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