How to Break Toxic Patterns in Dating

toxic patterns

How do you overcome toxic patterns in dating and relationships? Here are 5 signs of unhealthy patterns and how to break them.

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Why do we repeat toxic patterns in dating and relationships? Why do we choose unavailable or abusive partners? The short answer is we seek what’s familiar to us. We’re drawn to people who remind us of our most unhealthy relationship with one or both of our caretakers growing up. It’s an unconscious attempt to heal our childhood wounds. Our rational mind doesn’t choose our toxic partners. That’s why it’s important to get support to rewire our brains for healthy relationships. In this video, I share five of the most common toxic patterns and how to begin to heal so you can go on your last first date!

5 Signs of toxic patterns in dating and relationships

  1. You don’t feel safe: You’re always editing what you say or do, afraid of what your partner would do or say if you were honest.
  2. You feel like you’ve lost yourself: When you’re with a toxic partner, they manipulate and mold you to fit their agenda. Their plans, interests, and needs dominate the relationship.
  3. You feel belittled and ashamed: Your partner puts you down and belittles you. They try to make you feel less than or ashamed of yourself. They are emotionally immature, and need to make you feel small so they can feel good about themselves.
  4. You feel controlled or manipulated: A toxic partner wants to power over you. They tend to weaponize the relationship to manipulate you into doing things for them.
  5. You walk on eggshells: Toxic partners are critical, mocking, and sarcastic. You walk on eggshells around them, hoping not to upset them.

Healthy relationships are supportive, compassionate, and kind. When there are disagreements, they’re a safe space to talk things out and resolve conflict. Each partner encourages the other to grow in every way.

How to break unhealthy toxic patterns

  1. Recognize your patterns: Be aware of recurring behaviors in your relationships that are detrimental, like manipulation, controlling behavior, constant criticism, or lack of respect; identify what constitutes a “red flag” for you.
  2. Reflect on your role: Examine your own role in the dynamic, considering if you might be contributing to the toxic behavior through codependent tendencies or low self-esteem.
  3. Set clear boundaries: Clearly communicate your needs and expectations to potential partners, and be firm in upholding those boundaries when they are crossed.
  4. Practice healthy communication: Learn to express your feelings assertively, listen actively, and avoid blaming or attacking your partner.
  5. Seek professional help: Consider therapy or coaching to understand the root causes of your attraction to toxic partners and develop coping mechanisms.
  6. Prioritize self-care: Focus on building self-esteem by engaging in activities that bring you joy, nurturing your physical and mental health, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.
  7. Be willing to walk away: If a partner consistently demonstrates toxic behaviors despite your efforts to communicate and set boundaries, end the relationship. It may not be easy at first, and it might take several attempts, but keep at it until you’re free of this toxic partner.

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life



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