5 Ways to Overcome Limerence and Get Over Your Crush

Discover 5 surprising ways to overcome limerence so you can break the cycle of longing and reclaim your emotional freedom.

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Let’s talk about limerence…what is it, and how do you overcome it? Have you ever found yourself obsessing over someone; checking your phone for messages, replaying every conversation, wondering if they’re thinking about you, too? That is one of the ways you know you’re in limerence.

It’s that intoxicating, all-consuming infatuation that feels like love… but isn’t. It’s driven by longing, fantasy, and uncertainty. It often shows up after a breakup, during loneliness, or when someone awakens a deep emotional hunger we didn’t even know we had.

For women over 50, limerence can feel both exhilarating and humiliating. We know better and yet, there we are, stuck in the loop. The good news is you can break free.

Here are five surprising ways to overcome limerence and return to your grounded wise self.

5 Ways to Overcome Limerence and Get Over Your Crush

1. Name and Write Out the Fantasy

Limerence thrives on fantasy. Instead of fighting it, capture it. Write down every idealized image you’ve built around this person. Then, beside each one, jot down what’s real. (“He’s emotionally available” vs. “He texts once a week.”) Seeing the gap between fantasy and reality loosens limerence’s grip.

2. Redirect the Dopamine

Limerence is a chemical storm; dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline. The fix? Channel those same feel-good chemicals into something else. Take a dance class, hike a new trail, volunteer, or learn a skill that lights you up. Pleasure doesn’t have to come from a person. It can come from movement, purpose, and growth.

3. Get Curious About the Wound Beneath It

Limerence often points to an old emotional wound; abandonment, invisibility, unworthiness. Ask yourself, What am I really craving? Is it attention, validation, safety, or excitement? Healing the root need softens the obsession.

4. Break the Reinforcement Loop

If you find yourself checking their social media or rereading old texts, you’re feeding the cycle. Create a “no contact” plan. Temporarily mute, block, or delete if you must. Every time you don’t reach out, you rewire your brain toward peace and self-trust.

5. Anchor Into Reality With Safe Connection

Spend time with people who see you clearly. Good friends, trusted family, even new acquaintances who reflect your grounded self back to you. Connection is the antidote to obsession. It reminds you that your worth and vitality don’t depend on any one person.

Limerence can feel like love, but it’s really a mirror showing you what still needs healing. Breaking the cycle isn’t about shame; it’s about reclaiming your emotional freedom.

So if you’re in the throes of it, take heart. The same intensity that got you hooked can also fuel your healing, creativity, and self-discovery. You’re not broken. You’re waking up.

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