How to Set Clear Boundaries in Dating and Relationships

boundaries in dating

Want to know how to set clear boundaries in dating and relationships? Listen to this episode with boundary experts, Jan and Jillian Yuhas.

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Boundaries in dating are extremely important. My podcast guests, identical twins, Jan and Jillian Yuhas, are Relationship and Boundary Experts. With a background in psychotherapy and family mediation, they’re committed to resolving relationship challenges in every part of life. They are the co-authors of Boundary Badass, a new book  designed to empower readers to voice their value, fulfill their emotional needs, and cultivate valuable connections through the mastery of setting boundaries.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

  • What are boundaries and why are they so important in dating?
  • How to know when to set a boundary with someone you’re dating
  • Different types of boundaries
  • The difference between a boundary and an ultimatum
  • Can you change your boundaries at any time?
  • What people can do if someone doesn’t respect their boundaries

EP 604: Jan and Jillian Yuhas – How to Set Clear Boundaries in Dating and Relationships

Why are boundaries so important to the two of you?

We grew up in a small town and moved to a large metropolitan town. Even though we had strong values, we were letting people into our lives where our needs were not met. People thought they could push boundaries in business, too.

How do you define boundaries and why are they so important in dating?

Boundaries are a ‘we’ mindset, no a ‘me’ mindset. Boundaries are important in dating, because we’re trying to respect each other. We’re setting a tone on what we’re willing to accept or not accept in our relationships. If you value communication, and you’ve noticed that the person you’re dating is not communicating as regularly, ask yourself and the other person if they can meet your needs. 

How do you know when to set a boundary with someone you’re dating?

Set boundaries early on to know whether a relationship is worth pursuing. Meeting in a public space is a boundary early on. Don’t share your home address or go to their house for a first date. You need to build trust and connection. Also, having sexual boundaries is important.

What are some different types of boundaries?

  • Sexual: know your preferences
  • Time: how people spend their time
  • Financial: how people spend their money
  • Digital: how much time you spend on your devices
  • Personal boundaries: how you meet your own needs
  • Emotional: dumping your baggage or frustrations

What’s the difference between boundaries and ultimatums?

Boundaries are a ‘we’ mindset, opening the conversation to bridge the gap between our differences.

Ultimatums impose a communication breakdown. It doesn’t allow negotiation. It feels like an attack. If you don’t do x, I’ll do y. It’s controlling and threatening.

Can you change your boundaries at any time?

At some point in the relationship, you may have set boundaries that are now outgrown, especially as the relationship has grown and deepened. For example, if someone is sending too many texts throughout the day, you can request a morning or evening text instead, or to increase communication as the relationship evolves. 

What can people do if someone doesn’t respect their boundaries?

Use a sentence stem like, “Can you help me understand why ________ instead of __________?” Get curious first when someone disrespects your boundary. Find out why. If it’s a big boundary and they’re not listening, reevaluate how this person fits into your life.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

Allow yourself to get to know someone over time. Don’t rush the process. Learn whether they can meet your needs based on your values and discover their values. Otherwise it will hinder the process. If we have at least three of our top five values, it will likely be successful. 

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect With Jan and Jillian

Book: https://www.boundarybadass.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janandjillian/

Jan’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janyuhas/

Jillian’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillianyuhas/

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply for FREE coaching on the podcast https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.



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