How to Tame Your Inner Critic: 6 Steps to Quiet the Voice That Holds You Back

Learn 6 powerful steps to tame your inner critic, build self-compassion, and reconnect with your wiser self.

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We all have one, that relentless inner voice that tells us we’re not enough. Not smart enough. Not attractive enough. Not lovable enough. It’s the voice that second-guesses our choices, compares us to others, and whispers that we’re bound to fail.

Unfortunately, you can’t just abolish that pesky Inner Critic. It’s been with you for decades, and in its own twisted way, it’s tried to keep you safe from rejection, embarrassment, or disappointment. But you can learn to tame that sucker. Here’s how to begin.

6 Steps to Tame Your Inner Critic

Step 1: Notice What’s Happening

Start by becoming aware of when your Inner Critic shows up. What triggers it? What does it say?
Stay curious, not judgmental. The key is to remember that your Inner Critic is just a part of you that was trying to help. It’s definitely not the best parts of you. It’s like a radio station that plays on repeat, but you get to decide whether to keep listening or turn the dial.

Step 2: See the Inner Critic as a Scared Child

Imagine your Inner Critic as a frightened little kid trying to protect you the only way it knows how, by warning, scolding, or shaming. Instead of silencing it, acknowledge it with compassion.
Ask yourself: What does this scared part of me need right now? Maybe reassurance. Maybe safety. Maybe to know that the adult you is in charge now. Speak to that child with kindness and care.

Step 3: Discern the Truths (Without Taking the Bait)

Sometimes, buried in the Critic’s harsh words is a small grain of truth. Maybe it’s pointing out something you could do differently or learn from. But it often wraps that truth in layers of fear and self-judgment.
Your job is to extract the useful part without getting hooked by the negative story around it. Ask yourself: Is there wisdom here I can use, without feeling shame?

Step 4: Explore Other Perspectives

Your Inner Critic is not the only voice available. Look at other perspectives: What would your best friend say about this situation? What would your wiser, more compassionate self say?

Challenge the Critic’s narrative by inviting in alternative viewpoints. The more perspectives you can see, the more balanced and kind your self-talk becomes.

Step 5: Choose Your Response

Once you recognize the Critic’s voice and understand where it’s coming from, you get to decide how to respond. Will you believe its every word, or will you respond with understanding and grace?

Practice being compassionate toward the parts of you that feel scared, rather than judging them. This is how you shift from reacting to responding.

Step 6: Anchor Your New Perspective

To make this new way of thinking stick, anchor it with something tangible.
It could be a mantra like, “I’m learning to trust myself,” or “I am safe.”

Or it might be a physical reminder, like a necklace or a ring that represents a symbol of your higher self. Each time you see it, let it remind you to come back to center, to the calm, grounded part of you that knows your worth.

Your Inner Critic won’t fully disappear, but it doesn’t have to run the show. When you meet it with curiosity and compassion, it softens. And as it softens, you grow stronger, steadier, and freer.

Introduce me to your Inner Critic. What does it say?
How has it held you back, and what might change if you started talking to it differently?

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