The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

why people cheat

Want to know why people cheat? My podcast guest, Paul Keable, the Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, shares insights on cheating that may surprise you.

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Why do people cheat? As Chief Strategy Officer of Ashley Madison, Paul Keable oversees the strategic direction of the dating site, Ashley Madison, emphasizing discretion, authenticity, and innovation within the dating industry. Under his leadership, the platform has implemented initiatives such as user verification through government IDs to combat fraudulent activity and build trust among members. As the platform continues to evolve, Keable’s insights remain central to its ability to adapt and resonate with its growing global user base.

In this episode:

  • Why do people cheat?
  • What constitutes cheating in a relationship?
  • How can cheating affect mental health?
  • How can affairs save marriages?
  • Are all affairs equal?
  • What is a modern relationship and what are the rules of one?
  • Should your affair remain a secret?


EP 654: Paul Keable – The Surprising Reasons Why People Cheat

The tagline of Ashely Madison is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Why do people cheat?

There’s a study about why men vs women cheat. They found that 80% of women cheated due to a sexless or orgasm-less marriage. They didn’t want to leave the marriage but wanted to have sex. They felt that the affair led to a better marriage and better life.

The reasons why men cheat are about emotional validation. We live in a world where men are told to be stoic and often don’t get the compliments women get. They’re looking for that validation. 

Why not open the marriage or speak about it with their spouse? Many people do talk about the issues and they’re not resolved. Also, divorce is expensive and carries other challenges people may not want to face.

What constitutes cheating in a relationship?

When we promise fidelity for life at the altar, we don’t always identify what cheating is. We need to define what monogamy and cheating is for you. Have a monogamy contract renewed every five years. Your parameters change over time.

How can cheating affect mental health?

Any adverse event in a relationship can affect mental health. How do we view the person who’s been cheated on? How do we view the cheater? If you’re in a sexless marriage with a spouse who doesn’t want to have sex anymore and you love them, what are your choices?

How can affairs save marriages?

If the affair doesn’t get discovered, it can have a positive effect on marriage. Sometimes, when there’s infidelity, it blows open the issues and forces couples to work things through.

Are all affairs equal?

Not all affairs are equal. There are people with spouses who can’t meet the needs of their spouse due to illness or other factors. An affair can fulfill sexual needs while you remain as a caretaker for your spouse.

Should your affair remain a secret?

It depends on the objective. Sometimes it forces hard conversations. We’re in the business of undisclosed affairs. Tell your affair partner what your intention is. We launched our business in the early two thousands when online dating was taking off. The office is our competition. Office affairs are often not a good place for affairs. CEOs with consensual affairs have been fired. It’s more risky.

What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

As a person who recently left a long marriage, start with the internal questions about your objective and intent in dating. What type of relationship do you want to be in? Who would you want to have that relationship with? What are the hard stops for you? Be clear about those things, and you’ll have a much easier time finding your match.

Website https://www.ashleymadison.com/

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