How Long Should You Wait for Him to Ask You Out? (5 Helpful Tips)

Waiting for him to ask you out? How long should you wait? 5-step guide to knowing when to follow up—or move on.

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You’ve had a great phone call, the conversation flowed easily, and you both agreed you’d like to meet in person. Now comes the tricky part—waiting for him to actually set up that first date. How long should you wait before following up? And what do you do if you don’t hear from him?

Here are five smart tips to help you navigate this stage without overthinking or losing your cool.

How Long Should You Wait for Him to Ask You Out? (5 Helpful Tips)

1. Don’t Overthink It

The silence between “I’ll set something up” and the actual invite can feel endless, but try not to obsess. If he says he’ll set up a date this week, give him the benefit of the doubt. Rule him in until he rules himself out! Let a full week play out before jumping to conclusions. Remember: you’re looking for someone who communicates clearly, not someone who keeps you guessing.

2. At the End of the Week, Follow Up

If you haven’t heard from him by the end of the week, it’s perfectly reasonable to send a light, friendly message. Something like:
“Hey, just checking in to see if you’ve had a chance to pick a time to meet this week.”
This keeps things polite, low-pressure, and shows that you value your own time.

3. Pay Attention to His Response

If he responds and suggests a specific day or time—great! You’re moving in the right direction. But if he’s vague, non-committal, or doesn’t reply at all, that’s a red flag. His actions (or lack thereof) are telling you everything you need to know.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Move On

If he doesn’t follow through, don’t stick around hoping he’ll change. You deserve someone who’s as excited to meet you as you are to meet them. Politely exit and refocus your energy on people who are genuinely interested. Instead of asking yourself what you might have done wrong that turned him off, ask yourself, “Why would I want to date someone who doesn’t follow through and keeps me waiting for a response?”

5. Stay Authentic

No games. No manipulation. Be genuine about your intentions, and expect the same in return. If someone is truly interested, they’ll make an effort to plan the date. Real interest is obvious—it doesn’t leave you refreshing your inbox or wondering where you stand.

Bottom line: Give him the week, follow up if necessary, and move on if the effort isn’t there. The right person will be thrilled to set up that first date—and you won’t have to chase them down to make it happen. Keep moving forward until you find someone who doesn’t keep you guessing and makes you feel confident and secure.

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