What We Can (and Can’t) Control in Dating — and How to Stay Grounded Through It All

Learn what you can and can’t control in dating. Discover 6 practical tips to reduce stress, build confidence, and create genuine connections.

—

In dating, it’s very important to recognize the difference between what we can control and what is beyond our influence. When you know where your power lies, you can focus on what really matters and let go of the rest. Here are six practical tips to reduce stress, build confidence, and create genuine connections in dating.

What We Can (and Can’t) Control in Dating — and How to Stay Grounded Through It All

What We Can Control

Dating success is determined by how you show up; your actions, attitudes, and intentions. You have agency over your choices, your energy, and the way you honor your values and boundaries.

Three ways to use your power well:

1. Present Yourself Authentically
   You get to decide how you want to be seen on dates, not by playing a part, but by showing up as you. Whether that’s choosing date activities that reflect your personality or being honest about what you’re looking for, authenticity saves time and creates true connection.
2. Stay Curious and Kind
   You can’t guarantee chemistry, but you can always bring openness and respect. Ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and show kindness. It sets the tone for meaningful connection, no matter the outcome of the date.
3. Respond, Don’t React
   You can’t control every situation, but you can control your responses. Feeling frustrated? Disappointed? Take a pause, decide how you want to handle it, and respond in a way that reflects your self-respect and values. Or don’t respond at all if the person doesn’t warrant your time and energy.

What We Can’t Control

Here’s the tough part: You can’t control someone else’s preferences, feelings, or level of interest. Even with the best intentions, you can’t manufacture chemistry or force compatibility. Timing can also make or break a connection, and that’s not about effort, it’s about life circumstances.

Three ways to release what isn’t yours:

1. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
   Attraction is subjective. Someone’s lack of interest doesn’t mean you’re lacking in worth. All it means is the fit isn’t there. Let it be data, not a verdict.
2. Don’t Try to Manage Their Side of the Story
   You can’t make someone text back faster, fall harder, or move at your pace. Honor your own boundaries, and let them own their timing, decisions, and feelings.
3. Trust the Process (Even When It’s Slow)
   You can’t rush the right person into your life, but you can keep showing up. Remember that it only takes one person to make the right connection. And there will be many detours on the way to your match.

Recognizing what’s within your control — and what’s not — doesn’t just make dating less stressful; it makes it more meaningful. You stop performing. You stop overanalyzing. And you start focusing on what actually builds connection.

So ask yourself: Is there any aspect of dating or relationships that you’re trying to control — or have you given up your control where you do have agency? The shift happens when you bring your attention back to where your power truly lives: with you.

---

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life

from Last First Date https://ift.tt/cUHL7M5