Can a Relationship Survive When Only One Person Does the Work?

only one person does the work

When only one person does the work, can a relationship last? That’s the big question we answer on this episode of Last First Date Radio.

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The age old question: when only one person does the work, can a relationship last? Dr. Lee Baucom has spent over three decades helping people shift from a disconnected marriage to a loving and connected relationship, even if only one is trying.

In this episode:

  • What is a Pause Button Marriage?
  • What are the three levels of connection?
  • What can only one partner do to save a relationship? 

EP 704: Lee Baucom – Can a Relationship Survive When Only One Person Does the Work?

Highlights of this episode:

Signs of a one-sided relationship

  • If you’re dating and notice things are one-sided: carrying emotional weight is a yellow/red flag.
  • Notice patterns within yourself in a long-term relationship that feels one-sided: stepping in unasked, always planning, feeling resentful.
  • Hidden vs. stated contributions: partners often overestimate their input in a relationship.

Causes and dynamics of a one-sided relationship

  • Childhood imprints (imago) shape who carries emotional labor.
  • Mutual training: one partner may shut down the other’s attempts to help.
  • Chaser–spacer dynamic: pursuing closeness often causes the other to distance.
  • Pause-button effect: couples stop intentionally nurturing connection after commitment.

Ways to untangle and reconnect if you’re in a one-sided relationship

  • Reality-test your assessment: are you missing the other person’s contributions?
  • Reduce criticism; adjust expectations and make explicit agreements with each other.
  • Pace reconnection: use invitations and light, low-pressure activities to reconnect.
  • Target three connection levels: physical (touch), emotional (listening/validation), spiritual (values, hopes, fears).
  • Small, steady increases in reciprocal behavior work better than big, pressured interventions.

Coaching vs. therapy and how to go on your last first date

  • Marital therapy has limited statistical effectiveness; coaching can be more outcome-focused.
  • Assess team compatibility (values, day-to-day functioning) when choosing a partner.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Lee

Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.

Apply to get FREE coaching on the podcast: https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching 

FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50: How to Show Interest Without Chasing” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life



from Last First Date https://ift.tt/bu9d7El

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