How to Build Extraordinary Relationships By Design – Not By Chance

Would you like to be in an extraordinary relationship? In this episode, learn how to build them by design, not by chance.
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Learn how to build extraordinary relationships! Jena Jake is a Compatibility Strategist, speaker, and author who helps successful professionals stop choosing relationships by chance and start creating them by design. Through her signature Love Smarter
methodology, she helps clients identify true compatibility, break unhealthy patterns, and build extraordinary relationships rooted in alignment—not luck.
In this episode:
- The difference between chemistry and compatibility
- Why we attach to certain types
- How do we become aligned with the right people
- How to set boundaries in relationships from the start
- How to become the person you want to meet
EP 726: Jena Jake – Building Extraordinary Relationships By Design, Not By Chance
Highlights of this episode:
Chemistry, compatibility & core coaching concepts
- Chemistry = familiarity shaped by childhood patterns; not always healthy.
- Compatibility = alignment with your values, needs, boundaries and long-term life vision.
- Key shift: develop a loving relationship with yourself first; don’t rely on a partner for validation.
- “Be the love” — generating love internally changes how others reflect love back.
- Healthy chemistry = awareness + boundaries + alignment.
Assessment-driven coaching & practical steps
- Jena’s approach: personality assessments + the PAWS method (pattern, attachment, wounds, standard/status quo) to identify repeating dating patterns.
- Pre-work: rewire patterns, define values/needs, practice boundaries (Jenna’s “velvet rope” metaphor).
- Dating work: measure prospects against assessment results; catch red flags early (before strong attachment).
- Maintenance: practice new standards; surround yourself with people who model healthy treatment to make new behavior familiar.
- Outcome: a consciously built “alone” (chosen life) versus a fearful, reactive alone.
Boundaries, recovery & real-life examples
- Boundary practice often starts with family; protects sanity and reinforces self-respect.
- Rapid attraction/sex increases risk of premature attachment; recommended to delay until alignment is clearer.
- Becoming healthier narrows the dating pool but increases discernment and long-term fit.
- Personal examples: Jenna and Sandy described post-divorce boundary-setting and how ex-partners often repeat old patterns.
Watch this episode on YouTube here:
Connect With Jena
- IG and TikTok: @jena.jake
- Website: https://jenajake.com
- Free Gift: Love Smarter Starter Kit https://stan.store/HouseofJules/p/love-smarter-starter-kit-
Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast here.
Send me your dating dilemmas to be featured in an upcoming episode: https://tinyurl.com/datingdilemma
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, apply for a complimentary 30-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate
Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love and Love at Last: True Stories of Falling in Love Later in Life
from Last First Date https://ift.tt/POWudis
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